April 26, 2012
Like the blind men who went to see the elephant in the fable, three journalist went and 'saw' a sealed, confidential report submitted to the Supreme Court about an old dam in Kerala that supplies water to Tamil Nadu.
Staring into the thick manila envelop, the first one said,"Surely, the report supports Kerala view. I can almost read the pages that recommend building a new dam. Just as the people of Kerala wanted."
"It quotes the people of Kerala?" wondered the other journos.
"Of course not, who knows what the people want. Based on what the politicians want, we can know what the people want. Just as we know what's in the report by looking at the envelop."
"But I am seeing the report slightly differently," disagreed the second journalist shaking his head."The people of Kerala must actually panic," he said. "The report has completely rejected their demands and the research reports and studies that support those demands. The water level of the current dam is to be raised by another 20 feet."
"20 feet?" said journo numero uno incredulously.
"May be 18 feet. I can't see that well. But 20 sounds better than 18."
"And there will be a full two more feet to panic about. Clever!"
"I think you guys have got it all wrong," mumbled the third journo scratching his scruffy beard. "Most probably because the report is in English and you report in Malayalam.""What do you see then, smart man?" chided the other two.
"The report is clearly well balanced. Like our circulation in Tamil Nadu and Kerala. So the report says that the current dam is safe but a new dam is also safe."
"You mean safer?" asked the first journo anxiously.
"Don't be silly. Only nuclear energy is safer. That is our paper's stance."
"So Kerala wins," noted the first journalist.
"So Kerala loses," underlined the second one.
"Our headline will be long and ambiguous. That will keep our intellectual readers happy." reflected the third one.
"What happens when the report actually comes out of the envelop?"
"When is that supposed to happen?"
"Next week!"
"That is eternity in our business. Besides who has the time and patience to read through hundreds of pages"
"What if courts and commissions make their judgments and reports tweet-sized?!"
"We'll move that topless actress from last page to front page."
"Our jobs are safe."
"Dam safe."
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